trouble

the last couple of days have been full of it - primarily from a short, blonde headed, blue eyed hellion that has taken over my home.  toto, i think we've hit the terrible part of those twos.


she's always been demanding, vocal, and independent - we've just entered periods of open rebellion, something i do not handle very well.  i do not expect (and am not ok with) a 2 year old looking at me, digging in her heels and just saying 'no'.  the first time she really said it and was serious - not a no, mommy, and then doing what i asked anyway but a arms crossed, jaw-set NO followed by stomping her feet or sitting down on the floor - my first response was 'what did you just say?'.  then proceeding to drag her into doing what i told her in the first place.  


the defiance has gotten more elaborate as the week has progressed.  on monday (that's how fast it progressed) i had to ask j to come upstairs and take over bath time/bedtime because i was genuinely worried that she would do one more thing and i would snap - yell at her or slap her face or something else drastic and dramatic. (those of you who have known me for a while can testify to my typical mo. like ani says - you think everything's ok and it is - til its not).  i've got the gut feeling that my best bet is not to let her see that she flusters me.  that's getting harder every day.


on tues and wed i used the wonder that is facebook to talk to some colleagues who are also a little further along the child path than our family.  people i trust.  both of them told me it would get worse before it got better and promised that 3 was way worse than 2 and they felt lucky their kids made it to 5.  not the kind of encouragement i was hoping for.


actually our conversation was wonderful because i got to pick their brains about different approaches to children at all their different stages.  we're moving into forced choice more often.  'would you rather read llama llama red pajama or the little engine that could after your bath?' or 'you have a choice - you can either eat your dinner or go straight to bed.'    the last four days have been so full of forced choices that she's presenting them to other people. 'dad, are you going to go to work or clean the kitchen?'. i swear.


my dear colleagues were also helpful in making me feel better - that this is all normal, the way i feel, the way she's acting - and if i can keep my cool i'll feel better at the end of the day.  this is how i was able to keep my cool when spit on during bed time last night and instead of ripping out her intestines and offering them to the sky gods i just told her she had to go to bed without reading her favorite book because she spit on me.  very matter of fact.  she didn't like it - but there has been no more spitting so far.


my friends were also helpful in sharing the most useful phrase i've heard in regard to children - how'd that work out for you?  it reeks of dr phil but really, its wonderful to get her to think (and cathartic to say) when a has done something i told her not to and then hurt herself - like climbing into a kitchen chair. 


we'll see how things go for the next week.  i'm sure it will be wonderful and horrible all rolled up in one.  so thank the gods of partners in childrearing and colleagues to listen and laugh with you.