sleep deprivation

also known as youth lock ins.  we had one on friday night that was an astounding success, but leaves all the adults (and lots of the kiddos) a little under the weather for the rest of the week.  and unlike all the other adults and youth, my presence is required on sunday morning from 8 - 1!  :)

j and ains were great about the whole thing.  i got roughly 2 hrs during the lock in (we rotate sleeping if we can) and about 2 hours during the day on sat.  we had a wonderful family day, lighting the xmas tree and letting ains put a few ornaments including the star atop.  but by 6:30 while helping ains in the bath, i hit the wall.  had to call j upstairs to finish the bath because i didn't have the capacity to lift her from the tub.

i took a long hot bath and climbed into bed early to be as prepared as i could for the onslaught of sunday.  ains came with me to church since i was coming home after the christmas luncheon.  we got up, got bundled (it was 18 degrees!) and got to church.  first service went well - stuffed animal depiction of the peacable kingdom and 'lo! how a rose 'ere blooming'.

between services is when i found my energy flagging.  the confirmands meet with the session to talk about the faith journey and statements of faith.  i snuck out to find some carbs, sugar, and caffeine.  i walked around the building a bit, talking to people congregated in the hallways, working on preparing the luncheon, or simply visiting.  i eventually sat down outside ains' sunday school room to wait for her. while i was sitting, i zoned out, looking at the wall in front of me but not really seeing anything.  the choir began to walk past, all in their robes to warm up before service.

it was then that a woman i wouldn't have recognized in a crowded room, someone who i'm sure hasn't spoken to me before, but wearing a choir robe and her church nametag leaned down toward me.  i looked up confused and she leaned very close into my personal space and sneered YOU need say good morning to people. 


and i'm not exaggerating about the sneer.  anger seethed from every pore of her being.  i was very confused.  i didn't know her and couldn't figure out what i had done wrong.  by the time i had closed my shocked mouth she was walking away.  honestly - i have never seen this woman before.  i recognized the name on the nametag, but not her face.

(this is not unusual in a congregation my size during the holiday season.  i have been here a little over a year and still haven't meet all the congregants - because they're not always in church.  they do return for christmas and easter - but since i see them just a couple of days a year it takes me lots longer to figure out who they are.)

by the time i had regained my compsure my first thought was i'll be damned if i'm going to say good morning to her now!  the second was who does she think she is?! the third was i'm sorry i've been awake 30 of the last 42 hours.  my brain isn't at its peak function. 


but then i realized that i had no reason to apologize.  there wasn't anything i could do.  there was no concern expressed in her words - just reasonable belief that she could (and should!) tell me how to behave.

needless to say, it did not make for a happy pastor at the second service or at the xmas dinner.  a colleague told me this individual is always negative and not to take it personally.  but that's hard to do when you're low on sleep.