love and marriage

anyone who has been married knows that its not easy.  sometimes its so wonderful you feel you'll burst into a million small pieces.  other times, you think you'll take a hammer and break your partner into a million small pieces.  it's a process.  :)

the hardest part about being married has been not having a place that is my own. when i get mad, i can't escape to my apartment, there to ignore any phone calls, emails, or texts from my spouse (not that they would actually come mind you, but i'd be prepared to ignore them when they did). i can't storm out in a grand gesture, holding my head high and slamming the door. (that's not to say i don't just slam doors because it makes me feel better!)

when you're making a life together and in particular raising a child together you cannot resort to all the childish things you want.  it doesn't serve any purpose but to make things worse.

you can however:

• not speak to each other directly, but only through your child.
• not speak of the incident that led to the fight in the first place.
• let go of the incident so you're not throwing it in each other's faces weeks and months from now. 
• refuse to forgive your partner until they have apologized for their slight
• as long as your willing to recognize you probably need to apologize too.

and that's the rub.  every time we fight, i am as much at fault as he is at least a little responsible for the way things turned out.  you need to be prepared to accept that about yourself.  even when its hard.

because, there are those moments when your partner goes to the redbox and brings home twilight:eclipse, the movie that is so horrible that it is fantastic, and watches it with you, asking you to explain the complicated relationships between vampires and werewolves in forks, washington.

that my friends, is love.