so this week found me preaching the third funeral sermon during my time in kansas - the second in which the head of staff was out of town. it seems that no matter where i am or what church i serve - as soon as the boss is out of town on study leave or taking his first vacation of the year - someone is hospitalized or dies. i've just begun to prepare myself for it each time.
the preparation for this service was a little hectic but after my final summer in north carolina - something like 6 funerals in 3 months - i knew i could handle it. actually, to be honest, as i was preparing for the service; working on writing the sermon and preparing myself i was getting more and more anxious. i knew the deceased but had no existing relationship with her family. they were in some disagreement about what they wanted from the service. the whole staff is worn out, exhausted with church and personal crises that seem to keep coming without stop. we've been filling in, balancing each other, but we're tired. very tired. and we each had been bracing for the worst with this service.
but in the final day i began to think about a dear friend. the differences in our ages might have made it look like i was humoring her, making good with the matriarch's of the congregation. but despite all that, she really was someone i was close to. she taught me during my first call. she was someone who i loved very much, who i laughed with and cried with, who i sat with in the hospital, who i buried a little over two years ago. someone who never got to meet my baby girl. someone whose service i never thought i'd make it through, someone whom i grieved each sunday i took my place in the chancel and saw her seat empty.
it began to cross my mind that if i could grieve and bury nikki, then i could handle most anything else. i can. and i did.
the service went off without a hitch and seemed perfect for the family - everything they wanted and everything they needed. it was perfect.
seems nikki is still teaching me about myself.
I think about Mrs. LaRoque often too! She helped raise me and occassionally stepped in as one of my Sunday school teachers when I was growing up. I miss her too!
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