the things we worry about

latley the little one has been awake when i wake up in the morning.  she is wonderful - playing quietly in her room (destroying it really: thank you aunt stacy for all the extra dress up supplies she can now toss around!) or reading to her 'best friends'/stuffed animals.

yet, when i'm done with the shower she's ready to go.  so our routine has become - mom take shower, get ainsley clean and dressed, then finish dressing mom.  this means that inevitably ains is in the bathroom while i'm finishing getting ready. 

(not to mention the problems this has caused j.  he grabs a quick shower and is effectively banished to the guest room to get dressed so that, unlike noah's children, his child doesn't 'see his nakedness').

she'll do puzzles or sing songs. she pulls all j's ties off the tie rack and onto the floor.  she weighs herself. then as i'm putting on makeup, she wants makeup too. at first i was a hardliner on this one - no makeup for babies. i thought it sent the wrong message to a (very) young impressionable girl. 

that didn't last very long because it wasn't practical.  
and (as she pointed out) she's not really a baby anymore. and if she's not distracted i can't get ready for work.  and unlike her, after a 12 hour day of ministry, mommy needs some concealer and eyeliner.

in the interest of expediency, i gave in. i would give her a makeup brush with some powder on it and a mirror and let her play as i rushed through my process.  however, in typical me fashion, i worried about it the whole time, everytime.  what message was i sending my daughter?  she's going to take a lot of crap from society and i didn't want to start already. she's not even 2!  where do you draw the line? i want her to know that she's beautiful, smart, funny, brave, compassionate, fierce and wonderful just the way she is. 

this morning as i finished my makeup i turned around to see how she was doing.  looking in her mirror she saw me and said 'look mommy! i'm painting!'.  she hadn't turned the makeup brush on herself, but on the world - 'painting' the side of my bathtub. 

and now, at least for this moment, i'm not so worried about her.