Just a small bit

i have had a request to upload some more of ains xmas photos, so this link will send you directly to my picasa christmas photo album.


enjoy!

Christmas 2009

the things we worry about

latley the little one has been awake when i wake up in the morning.  she is wonderful - playing quietly in her room (destroying it really: thank you aunt stacy for all the extra dress up supplies she can now toss around!) or reading to her 'best friends'/stuffed animals.

yet, when i'm done with the shower she's ready to go.  so our routine has become - mom take shower, get ainsley clean and dressed, then finish dressing mom.  this means that inevitably ains is in the bathroom while i'm finishing getting ready. 

(not to mention the problems this has caused j.  he grabs a quick shower and is effectively banished to the guest room to get dressed so that, unlike noah's children, his child doesn't 'see his nakedness').

she'll do puzzles or sing songs. she pulls all j's ties off the tie rack and onto the floor.  she weighs herself. then as i'm putting on makeup, she wants makeup too. at first i was a hardliner on this one - no makeup for babies. i thought it sent the wrong message to a (very) young impressionable girl. 

that didn't last very long because it wasn't practical.  
and (as she pointed out) she's not really a baby anymore. and if she's not distracted i can't get ready for work.  and unlike her, after a 12 hour day of ministry, mommy needs some concealer and eyeliner.

in the interest of expediency, i gave in. i would give her a makeup brush with some powder on it and a mirror and let her play as i rushed through my process.  however, in typical me fashion, i worried about it the whole time, everytime.  what message was i sending my daughter?  she's going to take a lot of crap from society and i didn't want to start already. she's not even 2!  where do you draw the line? i want her to know that she's beautiful, smart, funny, brave, compassionate, fierce and wonderful just the way she is. 

this morning as i finished my makeup i turned around to see how she was doing.  looking in her mirror she saw me and said 'look mommy! i'm painting!'.  she hadn't turned the makeup brush on herself, but on the world - 'painting' the side of my bathtub. 

and now, at least for this moment, i'm not so worried about her.

Pauline Anatomy

You may remember a while ago when Snoopy, the lovable beagle in the Peanuts cartoon, had his left leg broken. Hundreds wrote letters to Snoopy or sent sympathy cards. Snoopy himself philosophized about his plight one day while perched on top of his doghouse and looking at the huge white cast on his leg. "My body blames my foot for not being able to go places. My foot says it was my head’s fault, and my head blamed my eyes.... My eyes say my feet are clumsy, and my right foot says not to blame him for what my left foot did...." Snoopy looks out at his audience and confesses, "I don’t say anything because I don’t want to get involved."

We laugh, but this metaphor is the precise one that Paul uses to speak about the Corinthian church and with deliberate intent.  Much like snoopy, the Corinthian congregation was facing deep division and turmoil, pointing the finger at one another.  From the outside it might have looked like the perfect congregation – great location, centrally located, large city, populated with ‘movers and shakers’.  But there were many things going on under the surface which Paul brings to light.  Chapter 3 tells of jealousy and division, chapter 4 talks about arrogant people, chapter 5 speaks about their sin of pride, chapter 9 tells of the church’s tendency to be backbiters of other’s ministry, chapter 11 tells of potluck suppers that turned into spiritual food fights and that is simply to name a few.

In the midst of this, Paul writes to affirm the diversity of the community and the power that lies therein.  Paul speaks of the variety of spiritual gifts – wisdom, knowledge, faith, prophecy, interpretation of tongues – while emphasizing that there is one Spirit, one God who bestows these gifts on individuals.  In the same way we, though many members make up the one body of Christ.  Now we use that phrase frequently – but stop for a moment and think about what that means. 

The movie Fight Club has a scene where one of the main characters finds a series of books, collectively titled I Am Jack’s Body.  Throughout the movie, his inner monologue makes use of this metaphor, saying things like “I am Jack’s Sense of Impending Doom” or “I am Jack’s Smirking Revenge.”  I was surprised to learn that this book was real, and is a compilation of articles from Reader’s Digest about different parts of the body, with chapter titles like I am Joe’s Spine, or I am Joe’s Eye.  Paul is saying that in much the same way we each have our own chapter in the book of the Body of Christ.  Following Paul’s metaphor, in order to be the body, the healthy, fully functioning body of Christ, each and every one of us is absolutely necessary.  There is a mutuality and interdependence at play.  We have each been given different gifts, different functions, yet all are of central importance.

Now, sometimes, when it comes to Pauline literature we feel like we are wading through in knee high boots, with dictionary in both hands. At times its quite hard to follow what he’s trying to say, either because the syntax is difficult of because he speaks so thickly. Yet every now and then, the teaching of Paul seems as clear as a children’s sermon. It strikes as deep as a favorite hymn. And here in First Corinthians, in this chapter and that which is to come, Paul writes of the gifts of the Spirit, and the metaphor of the body, and the still more excellent way of love that is patient and kind. Love, and the body, and the gifts. All in service to the church, the formation of the community of faith, the identity of the people of God.

I heard a story about a congregation that could never reach any consensus about worship style and music and liturgy. Lines were drawn in the sand when it came to hymn choices, and vestments or no vestments, and children in worship. They now have two services of worship meeting at the same time in two different rooms. The preacher for the day leaves after the sermon in the first half of one service to rush to the second half of the other as the sermon is just about to begin. How about the words of Paul? “If the foot would say, ‘because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it any less a part of the body....If all were a single member, where would the body be?”    

Think about the literature of church growth that centers on the term “homogenous units.” The vocabulary and the argument suggests that the congregations that grow the fastest are those that share the same demographics, the same interests, the same opinions, the same needs. In other words, to increase attendance, find people who look the same, live the same, think the same. Create “homogenous units.” A tool for smart growth some say. And someone ought to turn up the volume on Paul. “If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be?”

There are some leaders in youth and college ministry, those whose philosophy suggests that we ought to target the most popular kid, the most connected student, the center of attention. Build the group by attracting who you think are the best and the brightest, and others will follow. Youth ministry by charisma (not of the spiritual kind, of course). And Paul says “on the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable and those members of the body that we think less honorable we cloth with greater honor...”

Tomorrow we have set aside time to remember and honor a man who at his core felt that we were all more deeply connected than we were willing or able to recognize.  Martin Luther King Jr’s belief in equality was deeply rooted in his faith and scripture.  Although we’ve come a long way in these 40 years, there is still much in our society that separates us – along racial, social and economic lines.  We still need to hear and be the voice of God in the world. 

While on vacation during a  Christmas break I spent some time in Berkeley California with friends.  I rode the BART train around town and to and from the airport while there.  On the way back to the airport I spent some of the trip with my Ipod in, looking around the crowed train. It was a tired group. One woman had the red nose, the puffy eyes. She was clearly not feeling well. Some had their heads buried in a book. Some were pouring over paperwork. One man two-thirds of the way back worked on a lap top. Several were sleeping. A few listened to music. As I sat there looking out over the faces, I began to smile, and even chuckle to myself. It was a view I’m rather used to. Standing up here on Sundays before a crowded room that faces me. Heads down, heads up. Some here to listen to music. A few buried in their reading. Some tired. More than a view dealing with a cold, often worse. Always a few who are sleeping. Standing by the door of the train, standing here in the chancel, looking out at a rather motley gathering of life-weary folks taking this journey one day at a time.

The view may be the same, but what we hear when we’re gathered in this place is different. For by God’s grace, Paul’s voice breaks through and rolls over this tired assembly Sunday after Sunday. “You are the body of Christ.” Called together we are a part of something larger than our own time and inconvenience. “You are the body of Christ.” We don’t look the same. We don’t think the same. WE sometimes disagree about matters of worship, or our favorite hymn.  But “you are the body of Christ.” Our opinions about presidential politics and foreign policy and denominational conflicts and private or public schools, you would need a score card to keep track. But here, dripping in God’s grace, “you are the body of Christ.” One of the ways God has chosen to be present here on earth, through those who are called to be disciples of Jesus Christ. Here we are told who we are. We are marked by the Spirit. Formed every week through Word and Sacrament. Here we know ourselves to be the Body of Christ, so that we may go out and be the Body of Christ in the world. Amen.

memories

i've been re-reading  'i, claudius' by robert graves, a book my grandmother gave to me when i moved to north carolina. as i was reading last night, i placed the book on my chest and realized that something smelled familiar.  i put my nose in the book and inhaled deeply and discovered that the book smelled like my grandmothers house.  the house on stacy street, not the house across town she moved into after i graduated high school.  just to be clear.


 i got lots of books from granny - the day i left with i, claudius i also took home michener's 'texas' and some poems from t.s. eliott and robert frost.  i remember sitting in her tv room, watching pbs and the bbc - almost always programs based upon books or plays.  we watched hours and hours of all creatures great and small, mystery!, and upstairs/downstairs.  


we read books from my earliest memories and there is a very vivid memory of lying on the floor looking at the ceiling fan while granny recited alfred noyes' the highwayman.  i remember as i grew older talking about television shows and our own politics.  i was surprised and heartwarmed by how much she liked my husband.  


the last time i saw her for any length of time was the thanksgiving of 2006.  we gathered to have thanksgiving as a family, dad frying turkeys, aunt, uncle, cousins gathered to celebrate what we knew might be our last thanksgiving with her. she was so excited and ready for family to be there! 


i ended up at her house early and she asked me to help her get ready.  it was one of those wonderful sad moments i will always remember where i helped brush her hair and put on some powder and blush.  she smiled into the mirror and asked me who my favorite author was.  when tom robbins was my answer, she admitted sadly that she did not know him.  i described him thusly 'imagine kurt vonnegut, as a better storyteller with a fouler mouth.'  'oh my' was her response.


now i'm worried about finishing the i claudius because i don't want the smell to go away. ever. 

Four for Four

in honor of the fourth day of the week i've got four things baby a has done or said this week that made me laugh. she's a little ham (if you couldn't guess) and at times its hard to keep a straight face or even maintain my composure. so here goes:


1. "i'm wearing my jawa suit mommy!"
she has a hooded towel that when she walks/runs into her room, looks eerily like the scavengers of tatooine, albeit without the glowing eyes. i must have told her she looked like a jawa one time. (for those of you who have NO IDEA what this nerd is talking about - http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jawa )


2. During the bath - "Shampoo is better. makes hair silky and smooth"
also guessing j or i said that one too many times. thank the gods she hasn't picked up - STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN!


3. "we did it! we did it! we did it! yea!"
we were driving and i was looking for a single building in an office complex. when we found our destination, baby a burst forth into dora the explorer's we did it! song.


4. "good night daddy, good night maggie, good night tv, good night milk, good night elmo kitchen..."


AND THIS JUST IN


from her bedroom to the living room downstairs - 'no playing with my abby cadabby wand daddy!'

Back in the Swing of Things

sorry its been a while since i've posted anything.  its been crazy around here with holiday worship, traveling and getting back settled.  


i've been spending lots of time playing with my christmas gift - a WONDERFUL new camera that i'm totally ill equipped to operate (hence all the books by my nightstand).


its cold here.  i've spent two days (now three) working from home because it is either two risky to commute or because we've only got one car that can handle the roads before they've been scraped.  the high today - 0. ZERO degrees.  


we've got birds nesting on our porch because maggie has cleared some of the snow off of it and it is the only place they can find.  a has been playing dress up (i promise pictures soon) and we're just holding down the fort.  


welcome to the first week of 2010.


These videos are from christmas day.  hope you laugh as much as i did.  :)