the things you remember

 getting ready this morning my ipod mix was on r.e.m. and i while i was bouncing around i was remembering lots and lots of different things.  r.e.m. has been a staple of my life since junior high and with the exception of brief forays into other bands and generes they have been the soundtrack to my life. (i am admitting that outkast was added to this soundtrack sometime in 1998.  makes for an interesting mixture!)

songs remind me of the weirdest, most diverse moments.  

songs like undertow, try not to breathe, electrolite, so fast so numb, (don't go back to) rockville, king of birds, the final straw, falls to climb, tongue, and half a world away bring memories so strong that i can taste and smell what i was doing at that time.  

the point is this - my life (or at least they way i lived it) was changed twice, nearly 10 years apart by hearing the same song live in concert.  i've been thinking about walk unafraid all day.

as the sun comes up, as the moon 

goes down

these heavy notions creep around

it makes me think 

long ago I was brought into

this life a little lamb

a little lamb

courageous, stumbling

fearless was my middle name.

but somewhere there I 

lost my way

everyone walks the same

expecting me to step 

the narrow path they've laid

they claim to 

walk unafraid

I'll be clumsy instead

hold my love me or leave me

high.

say "keep within the boundaries if you want

to play."

say "contradiction only makes it harder."

how can I be

what I want to be?

when all I want to do is strip away

these stilled constraints

and crush this charade

shred this sad masquerade 

I don't need no persuading

I'll trip, fall, pick myself up and

walk unafraid

I'll be clumsy instead

hold my love me or leave me

high.

if I have a bag of rocks to carry as I go

I just want to hold my head up high

I don't care what I have to step over

I'm prepared to look you in the eye

look me in the eye

and if you see familiarity

then celebrate the contradiction

help me when I fall to

walk unafraid

I'll be clumsy instead

hold my love me or leave me

high.

walk unafraid

I'll be clumsy instead

hold my love me or leave mehigh.

 so thank you buck, mills, (berry) and stipe for writing and performing it. and thank you sj and ss for inviting me along on the ride.  it has made a difference.