my kansas driver's license came in the mail today. .
one wednesday (a LONG time ago) we decided as a family to go get our driver's licenses. we dropped ains off at celia's and headed toward the super secret dmv j knew about.
2 1/2 hour wait. we both went back to work.
j returned to the other dmv that afternoon a recieved his license.
so the trip was 1/2 a success.
on friday i went to the dmv and stood in line for 10 minutes for them to tell me that since my marriage certificate was not certified it didn't count. nevermind that i had my national organization professional card and social security card with both names. failure # 2.
call fulton county courthouse (you can always just come down and pick one up honey! um, no i can't) and then mail them a signed letter with a self-addressed stamped envelope and a money order for $5 (that took $6 to buy).
two weeks later certified copy of certificate arrives. now the fun starts.
returned to the dmv a couple of friday's later (can't get there during work and am not stupid enough to try on saturday). no one is waiting, everyone is very nice - if ribbing me about north carolina AND texas.
hand my paper over to the guy at the computer and tell him i want my first maiden and last names on my id. he can't do that. i produce my social security card that has that as my legal name and he won't take it. in fact i'm told that he can refuse to process my application since my birth certificate and my social secutiry card do not match. but he's just going to pretend that he didn't see it.
my brain: of course my birth certificate and my social security card don't match. i've been married for five years. that doesn't even make sense.
my mouth: Thank you sir.
he then proceeds to tell me he can either list first middle and last or first middle maiden-last but no other combination. we talk (very politely for a while) about what other combinations i could do (none), why what the federal government and another state think is fine kansas has to balk at, then looking at my watch and realizing i had company on the way to my house i said fine, my name is not hyphenated but i want my maiden name on the license. so do it.
i think the worst is over. he begins processing the paperwork and without even looking at me says 'are you going through a divorce or something?' what? i look at him quizzically and he continues 'cause your really obsessed wtih this maiden name thing.'
until this moment i had been calm, kind and reasonable. i had been bounced around from place to place and not given any reason other than 'this is the way we do it here in kansas' ( imagine a john wayne voice). i stood to my fill height (not so impressive to be sure) looked down my nose through my glasses and said in a rather loud voice - 'no my husband and i are happily married. all of my professional degrees are in my maiden name. not that that is any of your business.'
he had the grace to look a little startled but then shrugged and went right back to his work. i had my picture taken by a very nice lady and 10 days later my license appears in the mail. i've only now begun to wonder what this means in the bigger picture.
kansas - full of weird and strange customs.
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